The lingo mumbo jumbo

Mind your language:

What happens when a married guy and a bachelor are conversing is that they are almost certainly not on the same page. Don’t get the point? Sample this:

Rivervale Rockets: The beginings and the rise of Rockets

One lazy Sunday afternoon, Sachien Mittal was lazing around watching some cricket match on an impeccably dodgy streaming website when his missus, fed up with his nonchalant ignoring of household duties, yelled at him saying.. “Cricket cricketcricket…who the hell do you think you are? You are Sachien Mittal, not Sachin Tendulkar..get off your damn couch and do something worthwhile, like making tea for for a starter, before getting on to doing my pedicure”. At this stage a bolt of lightning struck Sachien and he thought to himself.. “True, I am Sachien (likealmost Sachin) but importantly I am a Mittal and Mittals do something which Tendulkars don’t….Eureka..I will create my own team, my own league and my own everything” What happened after is not exactly known, but suffice to say it is all history.

From humble beginnings of online cricket among an enthusiastic couch cricket group consisting of Sachien, Mohit, Khairha, Sumit Rastogi, Nishant Bansal  and some random virtual players, what we see today is Rivervale Rockets beaming out with a couple of dozens of regular cricket enthusiasts and many more random virtual players who appear in the list but just never turn up. Some of them I feel are Sachien’s imaginary friends that he must have added to bloat the team list well enough before an IPO isissued sometime soon in the near future. In Sachien’s words they started cricket at the backyard for Blk157C Rivervale crescent more than a year back,  before gathering enough numbers to move over to the ground, though I find that dubious in that I never spotted any of them ever despite my habit of a regular walk around that side. OR perhaps they were just playing an awesome game of invisible cricket OR going back to my original hypothesis they just played stick cricket online. Who knows, but fact is also that in the long walk from the backyard to the ground Sumit and Nishant became so tired that they never reached the ground it seems like. Wonder who apart from Sachien has seen them?

Betweenthe differing narrations and stories what remains true is that Rivervale Rockets is now a reality, very much in existence, growing rapidly and here tostay. If rumors are to be believed Rajasthan Royals want us to collaborate with them for the next IPL but obviously we turned them down saying that we don't play for shietty teams!

Whenwe asked some of the co-founders for their quick take on their contribution tothe rise of rivervale rockets:

Sachien:"I came, I saw, I conquered and I roped in Khairha, Bansal, Aroraetc"

Khairha was as swift as Munaf Patel when coming up with his counter story:" I came I saw kicked Sachien off and conquered, I am the original starter”

Bansaland Rastogi were unavailable for any comments while Mohit Arora was simply not interested much. After a lot of coaxing all he said was “Credit koi bhi le, khelna hai mujhe bas sirf khelna hai. Par yeh Sachien ...sala duplicate Sachin hota kaun hai discipline ke liye -5 dene wala? School hai kya yeh?”

True, when they say Failure is an orphan and Success is a b#$%^&d

Housekeeping 101: Rules and Regulations, T&Cs, Terms of the service etc etc …you know what!

Better to lay the rules of engagement on this space clearly..lest you say “I wasn’t told so”

1.       No slandering

2.       No racism. Only race superior to everyone else is Formula one, all other races are the same.

3.       No use of expletives. Ok can use a few but not very often. Ok can use however manytimes but reasonable ones. Ok just use them but please mask it..like using #$%%$##...it’s really that F#$%^&g simple.

4.       Criticisms /Compliments are welcome as long as it pleases the authors enough

5.       Complaints are totally welcome but you can’t pass it on the blog or facebook. It has to be handwritten, with signature and complete details of the complainant (name, address, photo, mobile number, bank account 7 pin, etc etc) in a sheet of white A4 size paper and kept behind the tree near the Chong Ghee temple. We’ll collect it every Friday at 12 midnight, Unless it’sblown away by wind, washed away by rain or cleaned away by Town council. If it does make through all that we might read it and take appropriate action.

6.       Every once in a while a team member will be randomly assigned to contribute match report with a right to refusal. The right to refusal comes with a heavy penalty of having to carry water for the team in the next game and of course some mentions to discredit that person in the next blog post. We are a very democratic admin team and want to award everyone the right to choose/not choose albeit with some perils.

7.       Fun is the name of the game and please bear in mind we will make sure to paint a wrong picture about everyone very consistently. If you feel someone has been left out and not enough fake stuff is coming through you have a right to pass that feedback and we’ll do our best to not ignore it.

8.       Criticisms /Compliments are welcome as long as it pleases the authors enough..Ok that has been mentioned already but isn’t it worth a reminder?

9.       No discussion about Singapore politics here and especially no comments about government and all.  There is STOMP and other forums for that if you are into it.

10.    Except #4 & #8 all other rules are subject to changes and will perhaps keep changing all the times

Author's foreword and Welcome to the official blog for Rivervale Rockets

As an esteemed assigned co-contributor to this blog I must make it clear upfront that a lot of what you read and hear from this blog is going to be as fake as it gets. Not because I love faking it (yes that I do though) but merely because I don’t have time to check facts and make a story out of facts, plus factual stories are always boring,right? Not to mention, most of us don’t give a potty^*about facts  How else do you explain our love for Bollywood movies. A lot of reports you see will see here are based on a “make it or fake it” modus operandi. If you don’t like it, no worries we are even going to put in a lot of rave comments from “fake fans”. Lastly please don't bother about the typos or grammatical errors, none of the contributors are professionals at this. It's all that can be made up in snooze time at work, home and sometimes during early morning chores in the bathroom, if you know what i mean..but hey..we all take our iphones along, don't we? ..ok some weird ones do..and not me. Anyways the bigger point is weclome to our very own official blog and hopefully we provide you some interesting updates and stories to read about the develeopments within the Rivervale Rockets circle. Innermost team gossips that exist or don't will be brought to you here and also give you a chance to post your appreciations for this brilliant blog or a chance for us to delete posts that aren't exactly keeping in line with "appreciation" of the authors.

Read on my dear friends and keep looking at this space for more updates (hopefully regular basis) as we go along.

Cheers,

Rocket Singh - blogger of the year lah!

potty^* :A euphemism for S#$t that I have had to develop as a result of my efforts intrying to keep the conversational lingo clean while with my little toddler around as we fear at this stage where he is just about picking up words, he shouldn’t necessarily be exposed to the unparliamentary vocabulary just as yet.